Today has been a busy day. One of several this coming week. *sigh* While I need to get some sleep, my anxiety and excitement are going crazy, so here I am to tell you all that’s on my mind. Thanks for listening.
Had a lazy Sunday morning (the best, right?), jumped in on #SundayBlogShare with Suzie81 Speaks for a minute (it’s fun, you should try!). Then, caught up with friends on Facebook and 💜ed away on Instagram while a movie and a few guilty pleasure shows from the last week play in the background (e.g, all of the Little Women shows on Lifetime). Got in my water for the day (gave up soda a week ago last Friday), had leftover pizza and dessert (yeah, I’m getting it in while I can, so shoot me). After lunch, it’s off to work.
Work on Sunday – boo! But, my first solo trial starts on Wednesday (eek!) and so time with the clients and the quiet time after to focus was really great. I’m still nervous (and a bit excited too, I can’t lie), but I feel more prepared than I did yesterday. That’s a fantastic feeling, let me tell you.
Adding to my nerves and excitement, though, is my apointment with the dietician tomorrow! I have absolutely no idea what to really expect. Again. I’m just trying to go with the flow. With that said, what the heck was I thinking making the nutritionist appointment a day and a half before trial started?! I think I just really wanted to get it going. It was a month between the seminar and the nutritionist, after all. I didn’t want to wait!
Still, I should know better. Lol
I have to say, when it gets super busy like this at work, I really worry that weight loss surgery isn’t right for me right now. How will I ever prep prep prep? How will I exercise faithfully? How will I possibly manage my anxiety and depression as I work through what I’m sure is going to be a rollercoaster? Oh, and still function at work? I’m so terrified of failing in the long run. I know I’ve been successful at lots of things I’ve set my mind to, but not this. Never this. It’s scary to think that I’ll go through all this and fail again.
I mean, I can hardly remember a time when I wasn’t overweight. But then I remember that I’ve got a couple of months (at least, I hope) without something really big like trial after this week is over (thank you baby Jesus!), and I stop worrying so damn much. I’ll have time to focus on making changes before surgery, on working through this process. Or I’ll make time. This is important and will be a priority.
All I do know is I’m pretty at peace with the decision to go for surgery, despite all that. It finally feels like the right time.
Oh, today I also found a few cool, friendly people on Instagram and Twitter who are sharing their weight loss surgery pictures and journies! It’s super inspiring and gets me excited to see what my results and stuff will be! I hope I can do well. :)
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